Welcome to our series “Letters To A Girl Boss”. This series is all about bringing a little bit of inspiration and happiness to the every day boss. Sometimes we just need a friend to give us a little pep talk, to boost our confidence and let us tackle the day.
If you’d like to join in and submit a letter of your own in order to inspire a fellow girl boss, you can find more about it here and you can submit your letter to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Letters to a Girl Boss: On believing in yourself
Dear Past Self,
It has taken me a long time to fall in love with you, believe in you and let you know that you are enough.
If I could tell you 3 things that would help you get there faster it would be:
- Don’t wait for permission
You were born into a wonderful culture, but like all cultures it has some misconceptions about how you should behave.
You were taught that good girls don’t ask and that asking for what you want is rude and greedy, so you learned to wait your turn.
You learned to drop hints, smile and be nice so people can like you and politely give you permission.
Unfortunately, the world of business doesn’t work that way.
I want you to know that you don’t have to wait for anyone’s permission to do anything; you can validate yourself and give yourself permission.
There’s no shame in asking for the things you want in relationships and business, so I encourage you ask for anything and everything.
- No man or woman can save you
There are people around you who’ll make you believe you’re strange for wanting the things you want and not making marriage a priority.
There’ll come a day when you believe them and you lose yourself trying to please everyone around you.
You’ll block out your mother’s voice, your aunts voices and even your grandmother’s wisdom and forget that you come from a long line of matriarchs.
You’ll hate your feminist upbringing and choose a man to save you from your life.
When this happens I want you to forgive yourself, look in the mirror and remember that you’re the only one that can save the woman you see.
And if you do find a saviour, don’t erase yourself; leave when the love runs out and you’ve sucked each other dry. Leave him before the bitterness sets in and you lose the ability to dream.
Afterwards have the courage to forgive yourself for using another soul as an escape from your life and choose to love yourself through the disillusion and pain.
3. Don’t take failure personally.
There are 3 reasons people aren’t buying your products and services:
- They don’t know about you
- They can’t find you
- They don’t like your product or service
None of these reasons make you a failure; they’re all marketing problems that a skilled marketing or branding coach can help you sort out.
Even if you don’t see it now, you’re going to be okay and one day this depression and crushing sense of failure will lift and disappear.
I love you,
Your future self aka Vangile
Vangile is a personal finance speaker and the author of Heart, Mind & Money: Using Emotional Intelligence for Financial Success and The Holistic Wealth Manifesto. She’s the founder of wealthy-money.com