The Lover, of course, might immediately conjure images of happy couples and romance.
However, this isn’t just about romantic love. It’s anything or anyone that you love deeply.
The Lover archetype personas are full of charisma and personality but are often split between their desire to commit to both a single person or pursuit and, at the same time, to have many loves at once. The Lover persona also struggles with retaining their own identity when fully committing to another.
"I only have eyes for you"
Intimacy, sensuality, closeness and an elevated capacity to love life, other and beauty.
Love goes beyond relationships and the Lovers can be passionate about their vocations, children, pets, beautiful surroundings and possessions. Lovers are great at helping people appreciate others in their life, as well as forming close bonds.
This may sound much like the Caregiver type but Lovers do not see others as dependents but as peers. A romantic who loves to create special experiences for others.
Lovers can help others by healing rifts in relationships through communication and restoring harmony. Lovers also have a great affinity for helping others be beautiful in mind, body and soul.
Lovers are passionate and intense, but can also be flighty, which can be hurtful to the erstwhile focus of attention. Lovers can often be seen as shallow and dramatic when they are expressing the Shadow aspect of the Lover.
Lovers As Customers
Due to their love of beauty, the Lover archetype is seen across the beauty, cosmetic, jewelry and fashion industries. From Victoria Secrets to Revlon to Godiva chocolates and Gevalia coffee.
The big successful brand example for Lovers? Chanel.
Coco Chanel’s backstory reads like something out of a fairytale. Illegitimate daughter, poor shop girl, mother dies and father runs off.
Lived in a convent and supported herself as a seamstress, living dreams of romance and running off to become a cabaret singer and mistress to a wealthy playboy. It was said playboy who encouraged her to open a dress shop.
Here begins the legend.
Chanel helped usher in the age where a woman could be independent of a man, whilst still being attractive. That you could both work and be loved.
Her first tagline for Chanel No.5 was ‘A very improper perfume for nicely brought-up ladies”
Beauty vs Romance
Aesthetic is key to the Lover archetype. This isn’t just visuals, this is the senses, gourmet food, the scent of perfume, soothing melodies and sunsets.
The Wallflower Fear
The wallflower fear is that the Lover fears not being ‘lovable’. Beyond aesthetics Lovers are looking for self improvement. This might be physical but it might also be internal.
It’s not about the product winning love for the customer, it’s about helping highlight and emphasise the customer’s existing beauty (internal or external).
Unfortunately, many ads mishandle the Lover archetype and appeal to the ‘shadow’ aspect of simply being more attractive. These adverts often fail to actually create any connection because it’s not connecting with the more powerful part of the archetype; self-acceptance.
The Lovers Profile
- Core Desire: The Lover’s desire is to attain intimacy and experience sensual pleasure
- Goal: They long to be in a relationship with the people, the work, the experiences and the surroundings they love
- Fears: Lovers fear being alone, being a wallflower, being unwanted or unloved
- Strategy: Lovers seek to allay this fear by becoming more and more attractive; physically, emotionally and in every other way
- Challenges: Lovers tend to do anything and everything to attract and please others. This can often cause the Lover persona to become so consumed by pleasing others that they are at risk of losing their identity
- Gifts: passion, gratitude, appreciation, commitment
Motivation: Infatuation, seduction, falling in love with a person, an idea, a cause, their work, or a product
Stage One: Seeking a great romance
Stage Two: Following ‘your bliss’ and commiting to something you love
Stage Three: Spiritual love, self-acceptance and the experience of ecstasy
Shadow: Obsession, jealousy and envy